"I can't believe he hasn't shot himself already" Golberg

in reference to many people.

 

"It's more of a brown than a green" Aaron

describing the 9th green at the Mounds.

 

"I throw more like a girl than I can throw a football." Q

A Q-ism that means, I don't know, he can't shoot a basketball?

 

"He didn't hit the ball, the ball hit him"  Perry

a unique take on a football replay one Sunday afternoon.

 

"It's noon somewhere" 'Rick'

an old college roommate explaining his choice to drink beer one morning at 9:45AM

 

"He looks like he had an arm pit transplanted onto his face" Joe

in reference to a person that was not a 10

 

"He's wearing one of those fake wigs" Aaron

yeah, I know, that was pretty intelligent

 

"Cherry bombs, discluding C, serving to D" Kevin

a classic made up word from my summer job working at the playground during a game of 4 square.

 

"My computer's been taking a crap on me lately" Q

I think I know what he meant....at least I hope I do.

 

"I attribute a lot of my popularity to his unpopularity" Aaron

a confusing but completely true statement

 

"He's the only guy I know that can stretch a homer into a double" Noel

in reference to the rather slow-footed Kusch

 

"These pants are suiting me well." Gabe

a (much too) colorful way of stating that a girl is hot

 

"Suspific" Q

another Q-ism, but I have no idea what word this was supposed to be

 

"You're in range if you can make it" Green

the response to Juan's question about if he was in range to try a field goal.

 

"You're just like Curley, but only the good part.  Actually, you're nothing like him" Aaron

trying to pay Gonzo a compliment, I think.

 

"He's only popular because everybody loves him" Tyler

that is the secret to success for Nelly

 

"Let's see what the bitch has to say."  Pete

in reference, during a field trip gone badly, about a WSUW newsreader who...well, she wasn't good....malinged if you will. 

 

"These shafts are perfect for our heads"  Dr. Johnson

poorly attempting to re-word an ad in media writing class.

 

"Oh my God!" (said by a passerby at Summerfest with big breasts), "Those are huge" Aaron

a takeoff of one of the Chris' favorite lines about a bartender from the Downstairs.

 

"Why are there 2 shoelaces?" Gabe

for a smart person this was a dumb question, after he purchased a pair of shoelaces.

 

"Is she pretty now?" Niki

apparently my taste in women as a freshman were not to her liking.

 

"Boo Leskanic" Chris

an inning after the Brewers blow a lead, screamed while the Pirates are intentionally walking Richie Sexson.

 

"She's the best" Godersky

all I can say is she must have been number one

 

"North Virginia" Q

A new state (of transcendental bliss-quote by Wheels)

 

"Why didn't you just call the cell phone?"  Cathy

a great suggestion, 2 years late, in an attempt to look for Aaron's missing cell phone

 

"Go Bucks"  Big Juan

a normal first or last comment on Hawk Talk from Big Juan, or someone doing their Big Jaun imitation.

 

"Where does he sit for his office hour?" Niki

wondering where some WSUW exec board members spend their office hours.

 

"I guess we're having pizza" Gabe

providing an example of a person that cannot open a menu

 

"I met a lot of her friends, but I only slept with one of them" Aaron

a diuscussion about 'friendship'.

 

"It's not just the 30 second TV version, it's the 2 minute shoot me in the fucking face and let me die version" Joe

a frank discussion about his roommate who repeatedly played the theme song from the show Cops.

 

"I met him!" Perry

said anytime somebody whom he has an autograph of does something good, a takeoff of Roger Dorn's line "I bought him" about Jack Parkman in Major League 2.

 

"I wonder when they took her out of her box" Gabe

a question about a greater at the Best Buy in Tosa.

 

"Topper's bitch" Juan

must be midnight, as Juan ate breadsticks literally every night.

 

"It's on the green!" Aaron

said in an effort to appease Pete, and prevent a golf club from being hurled in my general direction.

 

"And I still can't get laid" King

said after smashing a beer tray over his head 40 times in one evening.  And, as we all know, nothing impresses a woman more than smashing a beer tray into your skull repeatedly.

 

"I'm going to Washington to snipe the sniper.  Snipe, snipe" Mary Jo

one possible reaction to the DC sniper.

 

"Only priests and singers get in trouble for molesting kids."  Perry

there's no good explination for this, other than R Kelly, Michael Jackson, and the Catholic church.

 

"Huge cans" Golberg

another way of describing somebody who is well endowed.

 

"Cold beer here!" Pete

a phrase often heard when it comes to ordering a beer in Whitewater.

 

"Eli Marrero (vawoosh)" Perry

a discussion once about fantasy baseball catchers went right into the toilet so to speak.

 

"I just have two words, three actually....hold on four, no there's four.  You are all fired." King

a great call-in one night on the Squared Circle from a very drunk King.

 

"You're all promoted." (King) "To what, sports director?" Golberg

a moment from the Squared Circle.

 

"St. James epist, episcop, uhh, epi... St. James church..." Q

a not-so clever way of covering up a reading error during a newscast.

 

"Who's going to block for Emmitt Smith?" (Perry) "Troy Aikman."  Tyler

this would explain why the Cowboys haven't won a Super Bowl since Darryl "Moose" Johnston's retirement.

 

"He....doesn't....exactly....do....that" Gabe

discussing the skills of Antowain Smith during a potential fantasy football trade.

 

"You want to go to the bars next semester in a Benz?" Aaron

showing why I am the ladies man....well, maybe not

 

"Fuck me gently with a chainsaw" Ray

in response to having props fall on him at Cable 6.

 

"Will you put him away, he's hurting me."  (Aaron)  "That's what Katie said homecoming weekend." Perry

I was talking about a Warren Sapp McFarland football figure that kept falling off the dashboard, Perry was talking about....well, it was probably also the toy.

 

"You know why she's limping?  'Cause someone just kicked her ass for wearing that outfit!"  The Beave

now this is the type of comment needed in those best and worst dressed lists.

 

"Dammit!  I am covered in chocolate."  Aaron

either that's what the inside of a Snickers bar says or I was eating in a messy fashion.

 

"You can make any turn in an Alero" Tyler

perhaps he will be trying to sell you a car soon.

 

"The Guillermo's" Megan

the Guerrero's may lie and cheat, but their last name has been stolen.

 

"Did you do anything at the end of the night to make her evening special?" (cast member from the Squared Circle)  "Yeah, I went home"  Wheels

see, Wheels may think he's not a ladies man, but he knows how to satisfy a woman!

 

"Tyler, do you even know who Mr. Purtell is?" (Perry)  "No, but I just wanted to laugh."  Tyler

proof that there is a little Homer Simpson in all of us.

 

"Miller Park is the people's park" (Brewers President Ulice Payne)  "Finally, Miller Park has come back to Milwaukee" Chris

nice try but no.  A clear illustration of a person trying too hard.  The main problem of course being that Miller Park never went anywhere.

 

"Would you want an old car or a used car?" Linda

not sure exactly what the difference would be, but in case anybody is concerned, for Christmas I will happily take either a new, used or old Corvette.

 

"It looks like someone just drew those glasses on him."  Aaron

this was in response to a composite sketch of a man accused of abducting a child.  Real intelligence on display here!

 

"You know what else A.C. could stand for don't you?  Ass clown."  Hocker

some friends often assign meanings to my initials, but nobody hit it on the head quite like this one did.

 

"We ate pizza?"  Steve

you know you had a great night at the bars when you don't remember ordering (especially when you make the call) or eating pizza.  It must have been that beer he bought himself with my money.

 

"It's like Christmas in a glass!"  Marcus

I think that is all you need to know about an Alabama slammer, because it sure sounds like a ringing endorsement to me.

 

"I don't drink on Sundays"  Big Juan

and on the seventh day He rested, and in honor of that, Big Juan stayed sober.  Well, most Sunday's at least.

 

"Your mom sleeps with horses!"  Aaron

not exactly sure what I meant, but it drew a laugh from everyone, so we'll go with it.

 

"I have a bigger one than you, and I didn't even get a large one."  Lisa

a very interesting statement coming from a female....unless she was talking about the size of the beer, which I am pretty sure she was, in retrospect.

 

"The light is red!" (Perry) "Oh, sorry, I was looking at the lobster"  Aaron

apparently my driving was distracted as we approached the place where we'd have dinner.  However, it makes you wonder why I didn't stop seeing the Lobster in question was also Red.

 

"Get on your knees!!!  You're girlfriend knows what I'm talking about!" Pete, "Easy Pete" (Joe), "OK, your mom knows what I'm talking about" Pete

in theory Pete was talking about a lack of hustle exhibited at the S.L.O. Blues game, but then again there's no lack of hustle in what he's really discussing.

 

"You can't lose big if you don't bet big!"  Aaron

yeah, that's a winning philosophy to use at the casino....and no, it didn't work.

 

"What a bitch!  How can you not like me?"  Pete

really, that lack of confidence is really setting him back. 

 

"Watch, she's going to dance herself right into the lake"  Aaron

said about a person that wasn't quite all there as she was doing something that resembled a cross between a spasm and dancing.

 

"This song isn't even good enough to go to the bathroom to."  Aaron

think about Achy, Breaky Heart played on a keyboard and tell me I am wrong.

 

"And I will have the side of king crab legs" (Aaron)  "To drink?" (waitress)  "No, to eat"  Aaron

yet another reason for a waitress to hate a customer.

 

"They even questioned my nene" (Greg)  "I would have too!"  Kelly

it's one of those moments that makes a game of Scategories special

 

"Jeremy, what would you like for Christmas?"  (Linda)  "A tank."  Jeremy

that answer certainly commended a lot of respect around the Thanksgiving dinner table.

 

"Asa, you want to hit enter?" (Marc)  "What do I do, hit the space bar?"  Asa

a textbook moment from the control room at CBS58.

 

"I've never been with a woman that wasn't white before is right near the top of the list in things you don't want to hear after having sex."  (Eram)  "How about, 'ha, you've got AIDS now"  Aaron

a small sampling of things said behind the scenes in a newsroom.

 

"I wouldn't drink it if it was flowing out of Jenna Jamison's twat."  Aaron

let it never been said that I enjoy Busch Light "beer"

 

"Juan did something the Brewers can't do, he took four out of five from Chicago."  Aaron

the reference is to a story from our newscast in which a Milwaukee man, while driving drunk, killed himself and his four passengers.

 

"Anyone who cheers for Jenkins loses a leg."  Perry

as you might guess, Perry is not a fan of the Brewers right fielder.

 

"What does CBS stand for?" (Perry) "Can't block shit."  Aaron

we were at Mason's soccer game, and the goalie for the other team had a jersey that said CBS on the back, and Perry was asking what the acronym meant.  I think I was wrong, only because that wasn't the name of the business.  Really, the kid sucked in the net.

 

"You know what I fucking like?  Dreamsicle"  Big Juan

we were talking about favorite custard flavors, and after careful consideration, Big Juan got everyone's attention with this statement of preference.

 

"You guys swear a lot" (Perry). "Yeah, so why don't you guys just finish drinking your toilet water" (Aaron).  "That's why we have potty mouths"  Lesley

see, this is the kind of conversations you miss out on when you miss one of my famed tailgates!

 

"Let's just argue about jumbo shrimp!"  Big Juan

apparently Juan was upset about a disagreement about Lyle Overbay, so he suggested a new topic.

 

"Give me an M, give me an O, give me an R, give me another O.  What does that spell?"  Chris

what is a moro?  Ironically, this was a chant in response to talking about a moron.

 

"That was back when you could teach a girl how to be a mother."  Dave K.

Copps was showing off his sexist side, something he allegedly doesn't show much since he's married.

 

"I gave up walking for Lent."  Jelly

you got to love her sense of humor

 

"I think I'm going to leave after the Shawn Michaels, Vince McMahon match." (Golberg).  "Why don't you just leave now!"  Mason

I have never heard anyone talk to Iceberg like that, especially someone that is only one-third his age.  Golberg was left speechless, something that very rarely happens.

 

"You shouldn't have any friends."  Mary

to Aaron during a game of darts in the new apartment

 

"So, when should I tell everyone that they'll have to bring their own chair?"  AC  "Well, that won't be a problem for me,"  Wheels

in reference to a Bucks party at Aaron and Steve's new apartment.

 

"Even at the Spotlight they don't have a pole that old."  Jim

about a younger man dancing with an old woman at a wedding reception.

 

"I'm like the Dhali Lama."  Kara

an example of a Karaism, which in this instance stood for her allegedly always being right.

 

"(My husband) doesn't give it to me anymore." Kara

*door closes as Kara and Chris, her husband leave

"I'd give it to her."  Aaron

*door opens

"I heard that!" Kara

the Festivus miracle was that a fight did not ensue

 

"If there's anything moer boring than hockey, it's got to be pre-season hockey."  Big Juan

making fun of Mike is always a good way to pass time on the job